Midnight Cleaning

     I decided to clean out my room at midnight last night.  I still have trouble sleeping. I think its because the breathing problem I have.  I got next week so hopefully they will do the surgery next week too.  I feel like I am suffocating most of the time.  i just want to feel like I am not drowning.  It would be nice to be able to sleep again.  So I hope my breathing gets fixed.  I stay up late now because I can not sleep as good as I used to.  I hope that changes when they fixed my breathing.
     I went through a bunch of stuff to throw away last night.  I found my id cards from middle and high schools.  If my name would not have been on it, I would not have known who it was.  I do not remember anything from high school anymore.   I especially do not remember anything from middle school.  I know I met Nick in Middle school but all I remember is what he tells me.  I can not even remember going to prom anymore.  I figure its because of my brain injury.  I know my memory was affected in the accident.  I just hate that I can not remember a lot of my childhood.  I hope I get my memory back.  I hope I can remember my childhood again.  There is some things I do not want to remember from my childhood.  I would love to remember middle and high school.  I do not even remember when Nick and I started dating.  I remember what I am told.  Even if I never remember middle or high school, I just want to remember dating Nick.
     I found one of my old journals last night also.  I have changed so much from when I was a teenager.  I did not even recognize the girl who wrote in the journal.  She could have been a complete stranger to me.  It was weird that it was me just five or six years ago.  I just do not remember anything from my teen years.  Its funny because I still remember my dog named Abby from when we lived in South Carolina.  I remember my cat named Tiger too.  I just can not remember recent as in five years ago.  That girl who wrote in the journal was a very sad soul.  I guess because now I have a very strange sense  of humor.  I laugh about everything now.  I find life very funny now.  I guess after something like this happened to some one they see the funny side of everything.  I can see the funny side of life now.  Before I think I was really sad and lonely before the accident.  But now I can appreciated the funny things in life.