I can Breathe again

I can finally breathe again.  I had surgery to resection my windpipe on Friday.    The surgery went very well. I am so glad to finally have this done with.  It only took one time to get the IV in this time.  Last time it 10 times to get it in. This time I drank a lot of water the day before so it would be easier to get the IV in.  Now I have one more surgery to go. I have to get the plate put in my head.  After that I am done with the surgeries.  I am so glad I am so close to being done with all of this. I cannot wait to go running again and go to Zumba.  I want to run a marathon after going through all this.  I am going to start doing the Cancer walks. I will probably be able to go home tomorrow. I have been in here since Friday.  I have enjoyed being in the hospital this time.  I still have to be on a liquid diet since I have been here. I see the speech therapist tomorrow so hopefully I will get to eat real food tomorrow.  I have been on morphine for pain but they took me off of it yesterday.  It was making me itch.  Or something was making me itch.  I am not in a lot of pain now.  It was really sore right after surgery. Now It just hurts because I have to stay at a 40 degree angle and it is getting sore from being in the same position all day and the past 2 days.  I had two IVs after the surgery.  They had to take those out last night because my veins were starting to collapse so they had to put another IV in.  The 3rd IV did not hurt because I was used to being stuck.  The anesthesiologist looked like the guy Shane from The Walking Dead.  If course when I asked him if he watched it he did not know what I was talking about.  I have really liked all the medical workers at Emory. They are all so very nice and you can tell they love their job.  But overall surgery went well. I was not nervous this time because I was ready to get it over with and be able to breathe again.  I am excited about being able to exercise again.  All I left to do is the plate and hopefully that will be sooner than later. But that is about all for now. The pain med makes me sleepy.

I Will Breathe Again!

I am starting to feel somewhat normal now.  There are some things that are little off.  But for the most part everything feels somewhat normal.  I have surgery to re section my windpipe the 21st of this month.  So hopefully I will be able to breathe again.  My breathing is the same still but its not getting any better.  And hopefully I will have the plate put in soon also.  I am going to get to volunteer at my Dad's school soon.  I can not wait.  I want to work with the special education teacher.  I really want to go into special education now.  If you would have asked me two years ago I would have been like I  will never teach special education.  But now that is what I want to teach.  Its funny how much one can change in just a couple of years.  I am glad I have changed but  I hate that it took this happening to me for me to change my perspective.   I am just getting cabin fever sitting in the house all the time.  Especially since the ice storm.  I have been iced in.  I have gotten to leave the house once since the ice storm.  I get to leave the house again today.  Nick is taking me to see movies today.  Polka Dot is sweet today.  I love the way he looks at me.  He looks at me like I am his mom.  I am glad I have my cats.  If I did not have them I would go crazy.  The cats are like people now to me.  So  I can not wait to start volunteering.  It will be good for me to be around real people.  The cats are very entertaining  to be around them a lot now.  They  chase, run, and play all day long.  Sabrina says in the T.V. room with me all day long.  The others sleep off and on during the day.  I love my cats.  They are my co-workers, class mates, and friends.  I am happy  I have complains While everyone at work.  I cannot wait till they do the surgery.  I will finally be able to breathe again.   and I cannot wait till they get the plate in.  I will finally be able to go back to school.  I am just ready to be done with school.  I finally caught up on my live text.  I have all the classes I have taken  assignments posted.  So now I just have to classes I have to take assignments to post.  I am glad to have that checked off my list.

Too Much Time

I am sorry I am late posting again.  I am going to try to post once a day but I will more than likely post at least 3  or 4 times a week more if time permits.  They are going to stretched my windpipe again Friday.  I hope this fixes this for good.  It probably wont but I can hope.  I am getting tired of not being able to breathe.  I want the plate in too. I am tired of not being able to do anything.  I feel like I am on house arrest.  I understand why my parents do not want me doing much I really do.  I just get tired of it sometimes.  I just want August to hurry up and get here.  Its just not fair that other people are out walking around doing whatever they want and my life has been put back a year.  And the worst part of it is that I have to sit around till August and do nothing but have plenty of time to dwell on all of it.  I am trying to make the best of it but its gets hard at times.  I see other people graduating, getting married and finishing school and it makes me hate my situation.  It would be different if this was my fault but its not.  If only life would be fair.  Bad things are always going to happen to good people and bad people never get what they deserve.  I am talking about rapist and murders. Why could this have happened to a rapist.  At least a rapist would have deserved it.  I guess one thing I have learned is that life is not fair anytime.  So I guess I can expect to divorce, have a child with health problems, and to become paralyzed by the time I am 40.  I have gotten some good things out of this but I do not think I needed to figured those things out.  I know now that Nick is the one.  But I did not need to go though this to learn that.  I know now what I want to do for a career.  But I think I would have figured that out while student teaching.  I am just  glad I have family and friends who are there for me.  I just wish that some people would realize that just because I am finish with therapy that I am fully healed.  But for your information I will not be totally healed for at least a year.  I am talking about the other people who think that they have so many problems but at least your life has not been put on hold and you can actually breathe.  And when the people who get cancer who smoked I have no pity for you because you did it to yourself.  At least with my breathing problem I did not bring it upon my self.  So I still have a long way to go to a full recovery.  So for all the people who think I am fully recovered I am not and will not be for a while.  I am just tired of having too much time.  One thing that people want more of is time well you can take all the extra time I have now and keep it.  Hopefully I will get to volunteer at my Dad's school soon. Well once the plate is in.  So I have something to look forward to now.  I just wish time would speed up.

The New Year

I am sorry again I have not written in a week.  The holidays are so busy.  I figured no one wanted to hear me complain about how much this all sucks.  Anyway the new year has been good so far.  I am really annoyed that I have to spend another year in school.  It really sucks.  I would be starting student teaching this week if it were not for this accident.  Now it will take me 6 years to get a four  year degree.  I guess I have a good excuse because I really do have a brain injury now.  I figure I can get my portfolio done before I go back in August.  I am going to start studying for the GACE also.  I have to take the early childhood Special ed. part of the GACE. So I figure I have plenty of time to study for it.  I am just ready to be done with all of it.  I am ready to move and start a life with Nick.  I am tired of my plans never working out.  But I guess I should be used to that by now.  So my throat is closing up again.  So I will have to get my windpipe stretched again.  They are doing something about it this week.  So I have another surgery this week.  I woke up last time at the end of it so I hope they give me enough this time.  I spend New Years Eve with my parents.  Which was a first.  We went to eat dinner and watched movies.  I want my adulthood back but that will never happen.  I am adjusting to being a kid again pretty good.  I thought I would have a harder time with it.  I just hope this year is a lot better than last year.  Last year sucked.  I just want to get better and stay that way.  I want all my health problems to go away.  I am tired of hospitals and doctors.  My goal for the year is to see Doctors less.  I want to stay as far away from hospitals too.  I have to get the plate put in so I am not including that in the hospital list.  I will probably have to get my windpipe stretched out a couple of times and then probably have to get it re sectioned later on.  I hope they will fix it with the next stretching of my windpipe.  I just hope they do not have to cut it out.  That is a four month recovery period.  So I do not want them to have to do that.  I just hope this year is better than the last.